Top Ten Reasons To/Not To Get Married!

Top Ten Reasons To Get Married

From the woman's perspective

stability
love
Body guard
Someone you can fart in front of and not get embarrassed
Lawn boy
Car Mechanic
VCR Programmer (no, that's my job)
TV Remote Locator (again, my job!)
Taste Tester for your cooking (when he's feeling risky!)
Body Warmer

From the man's perspective

Sex
personal slave
key locator
wallet locator
food preparation
lunch packer
child nurturer
phone dialer
family birthday reminder
schedule coordinator


Top Ten Reasons NOT to get married


it scares me
It bites
it ends in tragedy 50% of the time
it stinks when you fight
mean people suck
it bugs me
I keep picking passive aggressive men
It costs money
I think I covered it in less than 10 reasons

Top ten reasons for getting married:


No. 10: No one will ever ask you again—so, why aren’t you married yet?

No. 9: You can bring into this world your future wheelchair pushers.

No. 8: You no longer have to pay the single person surcharge on cruises.

No. 7: You will never have to make over-compensating gestures to diffuse suspicions of homosexuality.

No. 6: You no longer have to keep up the pretense of being content in the Lord alone.

No. 5: You no longer have to wonder if you are going to get lucky on date night.

No. 4: You no longer have to be the target audience of pet products commercials; you can join a whole new demographic group.

No. 3: No one will ever try to set you up again with their awkward niece/nephew.

No. 2: Your parents will only have one thing left to complain about—when are we getting some grandkids?

No. 1: You no longer have to use I Corinthians 7 to justify singleness, but can now use that passage to badger your spouse into having sex with you. That’s the last time she will feign headache.

1 person...... ALE BUNDY